My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This beer is not sobering me up at all
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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