If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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