Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
