Having a random hookup so left but love u
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
