I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize