after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The uberlube is also flammable
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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