I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
