Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
