This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
