omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
