it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
