who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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