maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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