So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want to make out with him forever
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
