i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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