Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
