well most of my day revolves around power hour
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
