Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
