if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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