he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
