I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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