ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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