What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
