I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
