I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize