im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Damn victory sex feels great
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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