The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
