Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
40s are totally the cure
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
