dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize