Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
