Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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