God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize