Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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