I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
