awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
