i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize