i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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