fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
