he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
