i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
