There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
