i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
