My nipple is on Facebook.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!