grandma shit on top of the toilet
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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