Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"