Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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