your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
