Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
