May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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