I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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