Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
