Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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