It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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