if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
