Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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