I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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