Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
