It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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