i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
