I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize