I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize