His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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