I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
