Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
