Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
