i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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