chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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