God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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