she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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