Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
