Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
