After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i can't believe i had my finger in that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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